Girlfriend Wants a Break

What Should I Do If She Wants a Break?

How to keep your 'break' from becoming an actual breakup

Sometimes a breakup isn't so cut and dry. Ready for a good one? Here it is:

"Listen, I need some space. Maybe we should take a break for a while, and see how we both feel afterward..."

Is this the line she gave you? Did your ex girlfriend suggest 'taking a break' from seeing each other, instead of outright breaking up with you?

If so, you're probably wondering what it means. You're wondering what your girlfriend is thinking, how long the break might last, and whether or not she's even open to the possibility of getting back together again.

So hey, what exactly happened? When your girl asked for a break, some space, or some 'time off', what did you do?

Taking a Relationship Break
"Taking some time apart"... the
on-deck circle to breaking up

Did you beg her not to go, pleading with her to give things another shot?

And when that didn't work, did you actually agree to taking a break? Did you allow your girlfriend to set all the rules, such as what kind of contact you're allowed to have with each other as well as when you'll see her again?

Even worse, was she extremely vague with the terms of the break? Did she tell you things like "I dont know", and "I'll call you when I'm ready"?

More importantly, did you actually accept all of these things? Did you nod your head slowly and willingly, hoping it would somehow prevent your girlfriend from totally breaking up with you?

If so, that's too bad. Know why?

Because you just got CHUMPED.

Taking a Break vs. Breaking up - What's The Difference?

The main problem with putting your relationship on a break is that the whole idea of it is total bullshit. The true reasons behind your girlfriend's departure are NOT what you think (or what she says) they really are.

Your girl isn't looking for 'space', she's not going away to 'think things through'. And despite all her convincing, there's certainly no magical transformation that will take place while the two of you spend time apart that will mystically heal all the problems within your current relationship.

No. Unfortunately for you, if you've agreed to taking a break, you're already well on your way to being permanently broken up.

Unless you act fast, and unless you respond with correct reversal methods, your innocent little break will easily become a total breakup.

What To Expect When Your Girlfriend Asks For Space

Nothing good ever comes out of taking a break. Does your girlfriend want to see other people? Is she allowed to? The rules of your little break aren't exactly cut and dry, are they?

At the same time, should you start seeing other girls? Or should you sit there twiddling your thumbs, waiting patiently for your semi-ex girlfriend to come tearfully running back into your arms again?

Does she miss you? How can you tell? If you're spending time apart, how is that supposed to improve your relationship?

Do you call her? If so, how long should you wait? When is it okay to get back in touch with your girlfriend, and when would she tell you you're "smothering her" or not giving her the "space" she asked for?

But hey, does she get to still call you? For some reason that seems within the scope of the rules, right? Since she's the one who suggested taking a break, it's suddenly okay for her to make all the contact. Yet it's not okay for you, because you're supposed to be giving her some much needed time off.

What Your Girlfriend Really Wants

Agreeing to step back and put your relationship in a holding pattern is NOT how you deal with this type of situation. Instead, you need to take swift and immediate action in order to stop your break from turning into a breakup.

Want her back? Take command of things. Refuse to just sit back and leave this whole decision in your girlfriend's hands, especially if you're about to go along with everything she says out of fear of being alone.

Understand right away that your girlfriend doesn't want space. She doesn't want to test the strength of your relationship by living outside of it.

What she wants is simple: a license to (potentially) cheat. Your girlfriend wants the freedom of being able to run around, see what other guys are out there, and possibly find one she likes better than dating YOU.

Girlfriend Wants Space
Space... The final frontier

At the same time however, she also wants you to stick around. Your girlfriend hasn't asked to break up with you because it's much nicer to know you're still there. While you're "giving her space", she gets to do anything she wants.

You can't call or chase her, or you're violating the rules of the break. Yet she still has the power to come back to you anytime she wants... preferably after having spent some time shopping around for an upgrade.

It's simple: If you allow your ex to dictate the rules here, you're shooting yourself in the foot. You're also prolonging the break.

Let her, and your girlfriend will go out and see what other options are available to her. This is where you could potentially lose her to someone else, and if that happens you shouldn't even be surprised.

By taking a break you're actually telling your ex "Go, enjoy, have fun, and I'll still be here waiting around for you when you're ready to come back". It's a sad, pathetic, puppy-dog type mentality that always loses her respect.

How To Handle Your Potential 'Break'

Your girlfriend wants space?   Give her a universe.

Want to stop your break before it starts? If so, then it's time to man up.

She wants time apart? Give her ALL the time she wants, and then some. Girlfriend wants space? Make her feel like an astronaut. Put so much distance between you and your girlfriend that when she looks over her shoulder to find you all she sees is an empty horizon.

There's no real trick or secret here: your girlfriend doesn't want to be alone.

This is why she's trying to string you along with all this "taking time off" bullshit. This is also why she didn't outright break up with you, but instead cleverly worded things in a way that would get you to still hang around.

So when you don't stick around? That's when she'll get nervous. That's when the break no longer becomes fun for her, because guess what? You're taking a break too, giving her the chance to potentially lose you.

When your girlfriend asks to put your relationship on hold, tell her:

"Take some time off?   A break?   Nah. I'm not into that."

At this point she might re-word her approach. She's mention giving each other some space. She'll use terms like 'temporary', and phrases like 'so we can see if we miss each other'.

That's when you continue with a totally straight face and a dismissive shrug:

"I'm not gonna hang around clinging to half a relationship. 'Taking a break' sounds like a lame copout."

Are you shitting all over her bright idea? Yes. Are you making it seem small and insignificant? Sure. But you know what else you're doing? You're telling the truth. You're calling the break out for what it really is.

As she's struggling for a decent argument, deliver the knockout punch:

"If you want to see what else is out there, let's just break up. That way we can both start doing our own thing."

Make sure you put emphasis on the word 'both'. This lets her know, in no uncertain terms, that YOU plan on moving on without her. It tells your ex that you're not going to sit around waiting while she gets her shit together.

This shatters your girlfriend's whole master plan. She didn't want to break up with you; she wanted to have her cake and eat it too. Yet here you are, not only ready but almost eager to run off and do your own thing. Put it to her in this way, and your girlfriend is quickly going to panic.

By refusing to play by her rules, you're putting yourself in a position of control. She knows that if she continues with the break, she might not hear from you again. Because she still has feelings for you, this will scare her shitless.

What If My Girlfriend and I Are Already on a Break?

If you've already accepted your girlfriend's little proposal and are in the middle of a break, you need to act fast. The first thing you should do is abruptly break any and all contact you still have with her, whether it be by phone call, email, text-message, or whatever.

Stop calling your ex and see what happens. Odds are good she'll reach out to see where you are. When she does, let her know you're done with things. Tell your girlfriend that the relationship is over, and that you hope for nothing but good things for her.

Reversing Your Breakup

Your girlfriend will be floored by this type of response from you. She'll ask why you suddenly feel this way, and what's happened to change your mind.

That's when you tell her the "break" gave you time to think, and you've decided you don't want it anymore.

Be cool and confident. Be calm and totally nonchalant.

Wish her luck, hang up the phone, and see how fast your ex calls you back.

Other Ways To Stop Your Breakup Right In Its Tracks

Sometimes you'll feel the momentum of your breakup actually picking up speed. Your girlfriend will feel more and more distant, as if she's slipping away from you emotionally.

To save your relationship, you'll need to get your ex interested in you again - and quickly, too. This is where the Instant Reconnection Technique comes in.

Make sure you learn this one very important method to getting your ex to want you back. If nothing else it will help regain her respect and attention, and best of all it gives extremely quick results.

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