Seeing Your Ex Girlfriend

Step 6: Meeting Up With Your Ex Girlfriend

Knowing when to move forward, and when to step back

The art of dating is usually a tango. Beyond the initial magnetic attraction two people have for one another, it becomes a sort of dance for attention.

Yet after she breaks up with you, your ex isn't seeking that attention... or so you think. In reality however, your ex girlfriend is still very much looking for your approval and affection.

This is especially true if you've made all the right moves. Hopefully you rejected the relationship right alongside her. You withdrew, and you did your own thing. You made your ex miss you, and made her wonder where you ran off to. And when you finally did get back in touch with her, you made her realize she's no longer sure she wants to be without you.

At this point, you're about ready to see your ex girlfriend again. And this requires meeting up with her for the reunion date.

Emailing Your Ex Girlfriend
Reconnecting through email is okay,
once you've broken the ice first.

Keep in mind that by now, your ex needs to have responded to you in some way. You should've already talked, before anything else.

Afterwards, you might even be communicating by email, or text-message. This is a great way of getting semi-close again, as long as you don't overdo it.

Your goal is to get close enough so that when you ask to physically meet up with your ex again, it won't seem strange in the least. You don't want to wait too long however, because you want to keep the ball rolling.

Now if you're having a hard time reconnecting, or your ex girlfriend hasn't responded to your attempts so far? Check out these juicy secrets for getting back in touch. You might need a slightly more counter-intuitive and psychological approach to get her to warm up to you.

Asking For The Reunion Date

You need to be extremely casual about it when asking your ex to meet up with you for the very first time. Hopefully you've talked back and forth a few times, and your ex feels comfortable in communicating with you again.

The next time you talk, start telling her a story about something that happened to you. In the middle, get a little exasperated, at which point you say:

"Listen, this phone/email thing isn't cutting it right now, we have way too may things to talk about. Let's meet up for lunch or something tomorrow. Cool?"

Whether she says yes or no, cut the conversation short by again telling your ex you've got to run off to do something. Don't tell her what - be vague. This gives your time a sense of value, and it carries on the mystery as to what the hell you've been doing without her.

In most cases, your ex girlfriend will agree to lunch or coffee. She wants to hear the 'many things' you've got to talk about, especially since you haven't talked yourself up much since the breakup.

Lunch is also a very short, non-committal meeting. You didn't ask her to a heavy date like dinner or a movie. In fact, you didn't ask her on a date at all. You're only meeting to talk, so it's a lot more harmless in her eyes.

Truth be told, by now your ex should be excited to see you. She should be psyched up about meeting you face to face, and she should feel the same type of butterflies of anticipation in her stomach that you do.

Seeing Your Ex Girlfriend After The Breakup

A good first meeting will always lead to a second one

When your ex finally agrees to meet up with you, it might seem like you're home free. Yet before you go counting your chickens, you need to make sure not to blow it.

The reunion date is important. It needs to go correctly. You've already had a bunch of goals along the road to getting your girlfriend back, and similarly, there are certain goals you should keep in mind when meeting up with your ex for that crucial first time.

Reunion Date With Your Ex
Your reunion date should be fun, casual, and as non-awkward as possible.

As excited as you are, you need to keep it cool. Don't be overanxious, and don't be overly affectionate. At the same time however, you want to be warm and welcoming. As a general rule, you want to make your ex comfortable.

Remember: your girlfriend is nervous too. She doesn't want things to be awkward. If she agreed to meet with you, it's because she's already curious. She's probably already entertaining the idea of taking you back as well, but let's not put the cart before the horse.

Some basic things to remember while on the reunion date:

Be confident, cool, & relaxed - The more casually you approach meeting your ex, the better it's going to go. Make sure you go into the reunion date without any expectations. Treat it as something fun, and not as something monumentally important. As soon as you yourself are able to relax, so will your ex girlfriend.

Let her talk - A lot has probably happened since the breakup, and you and your ex have much to catch up on. Let your ex do most of the talking, and save most of your own experiences for next time. Your goal isn't to catch up all at once, it's to make her need to see you again.

Make her laugh - You don't have to put on a comedy routine, but you do have to make your ex laugh. Before meeting up with her, have a funny story or two ready - maybe something that happened to you while you were apart. Getting her to laugh will open her up more, and put your ex girlfriend at ease around you.

Don't mention the breakup - There's nothing wrong with talking up the good times that you and your ex had together. That said, you should always avoid the subject of your breakup. Remember, you're here to reconnect on a face-to-face level, and to have fun with your ex. You're not here to figure out what happened, assign blame, or try to 'fix' anything.

Leave her wanting more - Again, taking an early exit from the reunion date is a good idea. This is why you chose lunch or coffee for your first meeting, and not something too long and drawn out. Remember: you didn't come here just to see your ex, you came to make sure she has a good time in seeing YOU. When it's finally time to leave, there should be lots of things still left to say. She should have lots of questions she still wants to ask you, and this will lead to a second and third meeting.

When seeing your ex girlfriend, be sure to keep things light and friendly. When she asks about you, make sure to get excited. Be animated about how things have been going for you lately, and have a few good things already lined up that you can tell her about.

Remember, you're trying to sell yourself. Your ex won't want you back until you've become interesting and desirable again.

No matter what happens, don't tell her you miss her. Don't spill your guts, get bleary-eyed, or tell your ex girlfriend how miserable you've been since the breakup. This kind of garbage will TURN HER OFF faster than a bolt of lightning. Your ex wants a man who can be independent and self-sufficient, so make sure you show her one.

Ending the reunion date so that your ex wants to see you again

When it's time to go, make sure you leave things on a positive note. Don't let the meeting stretch out too long, or go into any periods of awkward silence.

Pay the bill, and let your ex girlfriend know it was great to see her again. Give her a hug, and a quick kiss on the cheek. Tell her the two of you should do it again soon, and then walk away.

Asking your Ex Out
A good reunion date should leave
your ex wanting to see you again. Soon.

Make sure you look her in the eyes, too, while you're doing all this. Be confident, not squirrely. Remember that a relationship is a partnership: your ex should want you as much as you still want her.

Unless you did something legitimately wrong, getting back together should never be about saying your sorry. It shouldn't be about begging your ex to take you back, or being 'thankful' that she's allowing you the priveledge of dating her again.

No, getting her back should be about realizing how much you BOTH miss and love each other, and then wanting to give your romance a second shot. It's about recognizing the need to still have each other around, as a part of each others lives, and then acting upon that need.

Instead of going into the breakup thinking you'd be lucky to get your ex back, go into it thinking she'd be lucky to have you back. When you approach it this way, confidence is inevitable. Go about it from the opposite angle, and you're already setting yourself up for rejection and failure.

Getting Your Girlfriend Back: Final Steps

Winning your ex back is one thing.  Keeping her is another

Hopefully your reunion date is just the beginning. If you've gotten to the point where you had a successful one, the chemistry that existed between you and your ex girlfriend should spark back up again.

However, this doesn't mean you can jump right back into a relationship. By taking it slowly, one step at a time, you're ensuring that when you and your ex girlfriend do get back together it will be a lot more solid this time around.

Getting Your Exgirlfriend Back
Oh, and 1985 called?
They want their mullet back.

Each successive meeting should make you a little more comfortable around each other. The dates will go on much longer, and they'll also get a lot more private.

The best reconciliation happens when getting back together becomes her idea. Although you may have quarterbacked the process of winning her back, you always want to let your ex take those final few steps toward YOU.

Renewing the relationship should be something SHE wants, and not something she's just going along with. She shouldn't be getting back together out of boredom either - your girlfriend should be excited about hooking back up and looking forward to being with you again.

And if she's not? Then she's just not ready. In this case you'll need a little more patience, and you'll have to forge more of a connection to her before moving forward.

Best Resources For Additional Help

If you're stuck on any of these six steps, there's LOTS more help available.

First, check out the detailed list of Get Her Back Questions in the column over to the right. The most common breakup scenarios are all covered, and you should be able to find something to suit your current situation.

Next, if you haven't already done so you should watch this video. It's only a few minutes long, but the tips found there could change the entire way you approach getting your girlfriend back.

Finally, check out this FREE audio advice specifically geared to work only on an Ex Girlfriend. Matt Huston's EX2 System strongly plays upon the female mindset, and includes radical methods for pulling on certain psychological triggers known to work mostly on women.

Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back
You WILL get her back.   Know it.   Believe it.   DO IT.

So get moving!  Be proactive!  Your breakup is NOT going to fix itself.

The sooner you start working on winning your girlfriend back, the greater your chances of putting her back in your arms.

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Magic of Making Up Video

Get Her Back Questions

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