Get Your Ex Girlfriend To Miss You

Step 3: Creating a Hole Where You Used To Be

Your girlfriend can't miss you until you go away. So go away!

There's a song out there called "How can I miss you if you won't go away?" It's about a girl who follows her ex boyfriend around everywhere he goes, 'like a dog without a home', ultimately driving him crazy in the process.

The point here is obvious: if you're eternally hanging around, either physically or through occasional contact, your ex girlfriend will NEVER miss you.

In fact, she's much more likely to be annoyed by you. Especially if every time she turns around, you just so happen to be in plain sight.

Basically, there are two important rules to remember:

1)   Your ex still wants you 'around' after the breakup.

2)   Your ex doesn't want you around her after the breakup.

There's a HUGE difference between those two statements, and you need to learn it quickly. Because while your ex girlfriend wants you to leave her pretty much alone after she dumps you, she also wants to look back over her shoulder and be able to see exactly what you're doing.

Ex Girlfriend Checking Up On You
Your ex will keep checking up on you,
even after the breakup.

Believe it or not, your girlfriend wants you to chase after her. She just ended a relationship with you, and getting chased helps justify that relationship. It reinforces the fact that yes, you did indeed love her. Your ex wants to know that her initial feelings were reciprocated, and that dating you wasn't just a waste of her time.

At the same time, your girlfriend wants you to leave her alone. Remember, she's going through a breakup just as you are. Seeing or hearing from you right now will make her feel weird and awkward, and you definitely want to avoid that.

Without the right timing, any post-breakup contact you make with your ex goes directly against her almighty decision to break up with you. Gradually, she'll be able to emotionally detach... but in her own time. Your ex wants to do this on her terms, which is why she'll always seem cold or distant when YOU try to initiate contact.

And this is EXACTLY when you need to disappear.

After the breakup, you need to pull yourself completely out of EVERY aspect of your ex girlfriend's life. You should vanish like Cris Angel. You should dematerialize like you were teleported away.

What happened to you should be a total mystery to your ex, and every attempt at finding out where you went should be met with a shrug. The more surgically you can cut yourself out of your ex's world, the faster you'll create a driving need for her to know where you went.

Giving your ex enough space to make her an astronaut

Remember: not so long ago you were a BIG part of your girlfriend's whole world. You took up a lot of her time and energy, and you probably dominated much of her daily schedule.

When she broke up with you, your girlfriend expected to lose you gradually. So as you rip yourself completely and violently away? It instantly creates a gigantic void in your ex girlfriend's life.

Getting Into Your Ex Girlfriend's Head
Disappearing: much more
effective than sticking around.

Most important of all, this is a void that used to be filled by YOU. There was laughter, love, fun... all of the good things that made up your relationship before things went badly between you as a couple.

Dropping off the face of the Earth is going to immediately get your ex thinking about you again. She'll wonder why you've stopped chasing her, and what may have happened to change your feelings.

Your ex will also wonder if maybe you've moved on, and whether or not you're actually dating somebody else. Why? Because in any unknown situation, we always tend to assume the worst.

When your ex turns around and finds you no longer there, curiosity sets in. As you continue to avoid contact, insecurity follows. Suddenly your girlfriend is left all alone, with a big chunk of her former life now a complete and total mystery to her. And this is where your ex will try to check up on you in any of the following ways:

Facebook - It's one of the most commonly-used tools for tracking people, whether they be exes or current love interests. So should you 'unfriend' your ex girlfriend on Facebook? Or should you let her keep peeking in on whatever you're up to?

Check out these very slick tips and tricks on how to handle your ex Facebooking you after the breakup, as well as how to manipulate your own Facebook account in order to get her back.

Email - This is an extremely safe way for your ex to get in touch with you after the breakup. Email is a non-committal form of communication where your ex gets to choose her words carefully before sending them off. When she's ready to spy on you a bit, expect a not-so-innocent email from your ex girlfriend, even if she's just forwarding along a joke or two.

Text-Message - When your ex girlfriend sends you a text-message it's because she's not ready for a more personal form of communication just yet. In most cases she expects an immediate response, which is awesome because it gives you a really great chance to ignore her.

Asking Friends - Your ex girlfriend's friends are an important source of information for her, and she might ask them to check up on you when she gets curious. Keep an even sharper eye on your own friends; sometimes your ex will try to pry information out of them, too.

Calling You Directly - More rarely, your ex girlfriend will call you right up. This is a huge sign that she's still interested in you, and might even be getting ready to reconcile or reverse the breakup.

Most of the time, your ex will also have a reason for calling you. Most popular of these reasons: "I left some stuff at your house". Keep in mind that the reason itself is pure bullshit; your ex is calling with a much different agenda, and that's to check up on where you are and what you're doing.

When you do get such a phone call, don't jump the gun and be sure to take things slow. You should also learn exactly what to say when your ex girlfriend calls you out of the clear blue sky.

Again, your ex can't help but want to know how you're handling the breakup. In her mind, she already had an idea of how things would go.

So when your actions deviate from her plan? She needs to know WHY. Your ex needs to know the root cause of your total disappearance, and she'll want to know could've happened toward the end of your relationship that caused you to lose interest in her so quickly.

Using No-Contact to get back your ex girlfriend

You've probably heard the words 'no contact' a lot by now. So let's talk about what it is, how it works, and why it's so damned effective if executed correctly.

The No-Contact approach to winning your girlfriend back is, simply put, the complete and total withdrawal from anything to do with your ex.

You really have to go balls out here. You can't cheat, and call your ex in a moment of weakness. You can't send her a text-message, and pretend it was innocent or necessary. You need to man up, step forward, and really commit to steering totally clear of your ex girlfriend for a long while.

Think it's gonna be hard?  IT IS. But like everything else that takes any effort, it also brings results. Some tips to get you started:

TURN OFF YOUR PHONE. This will stop you from looking at it every five minutes, and keep you from dialing your ex.

UNPLUG YOUR COMPUTER. This will prevent you from checking your ex girlfriend's Facebook page, to see what she's doing without you.

GET OUT OF THE HOUSE. This keeps you from poisoning yourself with pity or desperation, and it gives you a chance to clear out your head.

No Contact With Ex Girlfriend

How about a visual. You see this?   

That's your ex girlfriend NOT getting a text from you.

That's what she looks like checking for new voicemails, and finding nothing.

That's her searching for missed calls and unread messages. Still nothing. Because ever since the breakup, you haven't even bothered with her.

Is she upset? No, but she's confused. She expected to hear from you. She thought you'd fight her on the breakup, but so far it seems like just the opposite.

"Fine", she says. "Screw him if he doesn't care, it's what I want anyway."

But in the back of her mind, there's a nagging voice that's asking her why.

There's something inside her that needs to know when you gave up on the relationship, and what exactly made you unhappy enough that you're not even trying to keep things together.

Are you over the relationship already? Did you find somebody else?

Maybe you had some other girl in mind the whole time, and were just waiting for her to break up with you?

These are the kinds of questions your ex will ask herself when you DON'T call or make contact with her. This type of nagging doubt will consume her thoughts, making your ex girlfriend think about you so much more than if you were still within plain sight or easy reach.

Become the man your ex girlfriend WANTS to date.

Women will always be attracted to a more alpha approach

On the basest levels of attraction, your ex doesn't want to see you cry. She doesn't want to see you mourn the relationship. She doesn't want gifts, or flowers left on her car, or sappy greeting cards left in her mailbox.

No, your girlfriend wants to see strength. She wants strong arms around her. She wants a boyfriend who makes her feel protected and safe, and she wants to think you'll always have the answer to everything.

Buying Gifts For Your Ex
Ambushing your ex girlfriend with gifts...
the absolute king of all tacky moves.

Your girlfriend wants to date a guy in control, both of his own life and of the future of the relationship. She wants someone who will lead the romance past any obstacles that stand in your way.

None of this can happen if you're needy, desperate, crying, or dragging your knees along the pavement while chasing after your ex.

None of it can happen if you're so busy revealing your 'true feelings' that you don't stop to take a look at the man you've actually become.

Worst of all, none of it can happen if you've been acting like the wishy-washy, newly-feminized 'modern man' that seems to dominate every sitcom and television talk show these days.

Attraction is instinctual. The last 30+ years of today's modernized man doesn't wipe out thousands of years of evolution.

To get your ex back you need to POSTURE UP. You should stand tall and confident in everything that you do. Your actions should be slow and deliberate, not fast, insecure and erratic.

How you carry yourself after the breakup will determine how your ex sees you, and if you want her back you need to put forth these traits and attributes before you do anything else.

Alright. "Don't be a pussy" is now your new mantra. Your next move:

Step 4: Becoming The Guy Your Ex First Fell In Love With

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